I know I will have to write a story about it sometimes. It is complicated. I don't even understand it. I think maybe the best way to explain is that somehow I lost myself. Oh, there is a poem I wrote in 2002: I Lost Myself:
I lost myself,
somewhere during life.
My Body was the only
thing that survived.
And IT kept on searching
all around the world,
asking friends and strangers,
if they’d seen its soul...
I guess sometimes, when pain becomes too big, when confusion becomes the reality, when pleasing others is the only way you feel you are accepted, the only way to survive IS to lose yourself. It truly saddens me that I denied myself what I love so much. Yet, I wonder if maybe by losing ourselves is where we find our true core.
I lost myself,
somewhere during life.
My Body was the only
thing that survived.
And IT kept on searching
all around the world,
asking friends and strangers,
if they’d seen its soul...
I guess sometimes, when pain becomes too big, when confusion becomes the reality, when pleasing others is the only way you feel you are accepted, the only way to survive IS to lose yourself. It truly saddens me that I denied myself what I love so much. Yet, I wonder if maybe by losing ourselves is where we find our true core.
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