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Why did you stop writing for such a long time?

6/12/2011

I know I will have to write a story about it sometimes. It is complicated. I don't even understand it. I think maybe the best way to explain is that somehow I lost myself. Oh, there is a poem I wrote in 2002: I Lost Myself:

I lost myself,
somewhere during life.
My Body was the only
thing that survived.
And IT kept on searching
all around the world,
asking friends and strangers,
if they’d seen its soul...

I guess sometimes, when pain becomes too big, when confusion becomes the reality, when pleasing others is the only way you feel you are accepted, the only way to survive IS to lose yourself. It truly saddens me that I denied myself what I love so much. Yet, I wonder if maybe by losing ourselves is where we find our true core.

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THE MYSTERY OF LOVE

11/20/2010

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YOU OFTEN WRITE IN A FORM OF A DIALOG, WHY IS THAT?
I don't really know but it's true. I always felt that there were these two parts of me, and one knows more than the other. Maybe it's my subconsciousness. I am often surprised when that "other me" challenges me or brings a different light to my own thinking. And it is not always comfortable.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE?
Absolutely. I believe that one of the greatest missions of our life here on earth is to keep expanding our capacity to love. And this is what I am working on now: to love despite the pain.

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CHILDHOOD

11/20/2010

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WHAT IS YOUR FIRST MEMORY IN THE AREA OF CREATING SOMETHING, LIKE A SONG OR A POEM?
I remember a song. I wrote my first song when I couldn't write and I remember that feeling of trying not to forget the lyrics. I was 5 or 6 years old (in Poland we didn't start school until 7 years old). I kept singing that song often to make sure that I remember and I remember it till today. Funny thing is that the song starts with: "When I was a little girl..." Wow! What did I really think? The world of child's imagination fascinates me.
What I remember even before that song was countless hours of my own story-telling, whenever anything was hard, I was able to transfer myself to the land of fairy-tales with the background of beautiful music that I always heard in my mind. I often write about the tree... it was my safe haven... I was able to hide under it and make the most fantastic field of adventures. I didn't really have toys to do it with, so the sticks, moss, berries and all possible treasures of nature were the part of my kingdom. What I didn't know, that sometimes in the future that ability will manifest again, and will allow me to survive a different form of suffering.

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Why did you stop writing for such a long time?

THE MYSTERY OF LOVE

CHILDHOOD

Liliana Kohann

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